Thanks for 1000 Hits!

We did it! In just eight weeks, we reached over 1000 hits! Mo and I thank you all again for your continued readership.

I am my own devil

I caught it. I caught hate.

I’ve been arguing and fighting with a couple of family members in my head. Too often. My dislike for them grows with every mention of their names. I know this is bad. I know I should try to not let them bother me. And of course, I know I should forgive people. But I can’t.

I’m being arrogant. I keep reminding myself that as a human, and as a Muslim, I should be forgiving. I keep reminding myself that forgiveness is part of being a good Muslim. I keep reminding myself that if Allah forgives everyone, why should I be above forgiveness? As one of our most important religious holidays approaches, Eid ul-Adha, I am struggling with finding peace as I pray and as I try to be a better Muslim and a better person in general. But I’m still boiling inside. I find myself yelling at them for long periods of time–while I cook, while I’m in class, before I sleep… I need it to stop. But no matter what I try, I just can’t. I keep squashing my conscience.

Mo finds himself committing the same acts of verbal and mental abuse. I’m not sure how to stop this, but we want it to. We’re very open to suggestions.

Biting your time.

As Mo and I made our way to NYC last weekend, we were amused by the number of strange things we saw while sitting in traffic. One in particular was the kind soul (I say kind because he let us into his lane twice) who was ambitiously biting his nails. And by ambitious I mean there was an onslaught of hand-gnawing. It was hard not to watch.

I’ve always considered nail-biting one of the most disgusting habits out there (this probably has something to do with the fact that my father never let me lick my fingers after eating chips), and Hand-eater just solidified my feelings. Hand-eater also got me comparing nail-biting Muslims to nail-biting Americans. The result: I can’t recall seeing any nail-biting Muslims. Ever.

My father is a big proponent for keeping body parts away from where they shouldn’t naturally be, e.g. finger nails near pimples, fingers in mouth, etc. My mother also has good hygiene, and I can even remember waking up as a little girl in the wee hours of the night only to find her clipping away at my hands and feet (quite an ingenious idea, methinks).

So why is it that I haven’t seen Muslims biting their nails? I believe part of it is just personal hygiene, part of it is contributed by culture, and the remaining part is because of religion. I remember friends once discussing how our fingernails could not grow past a certain length, but it turns out we are not supposed to let them grow for longer than forty days. Why? Because that length likens us to animals, which we are not. Have you ever seen a woman with really long toenails? Scary, huh? Hygiene, if you haven’t been able to tell, is very important in Islam. So yes, you’ll see very few Muslim women with long nails. And if you do, hopefully they’re on her hands and not her feet.

I’m pretty sure I cut my fingernails more frequently than every forty days (I’m going to start keeping track…). I once tested for the amount of bacteria on a common doorknob and was horrified at what my petri dish uncovered. Imagine putting all of that in your mouth. Yum.

We’re Number 1!

Mo and I are really excited! We just found out Other east is the number one Google search result for muslim webcomics.

We want to thank everyone for their support! Now go forth and keep spreading the word.

 

Follow-up to Oh, baby.

One of our readers commented on Mo’s disposition to protect spiders despite his views on abortion, and this prompted us to clarify a few things. Interestingly enough, his views on abortion and spiders are actually aligned.

Mo is pro-choice until the embryo becomes a fetus, which happens during week eight. Again, this refers back to the seven functions that classify a living thing and the time period in which an embryo becomes a living thing (fetus). After week eight, Mo believes it is completely wrong to abort the fetus, as it is alive at this point. Aborting at this point would mean taking a life. Couples should have made a decision before reaching this point.

Mo also believes that if the couple has taken every precaution possible to prevent pregnancy, yet becomes pregnant anyway, they would be more justified in pursuing an abortion of an embryo. If the couple has not taken any precautions and becomes pregnant, they would not be justified in having an abortion. Still, we both hope that all pregnant couples will make the right decisions for themselves and their babies.

We hope this clarifies any conflicting information!

Introducing the Spider Removal Kit!

I have a problem. I’m afraid of spiders. I want to kill them, but I usually can’t.

I wasn’t always afraid of spiders. Somehow, over the past three years, I have become more and more afraid of them. And for some reason, the big ones come out when Mo goes away. So there I am alone in the apartment and bam! Skitter, skitter, skitter–a spider walks across the wall, the roof, the dresser, the carpet, etc. This fall we saw a lot more spiders than we have in the past year, and no one is sure why. We had an exterminator come in a few weeks ago to take care of this, and although we see far fewer than before, they’re still coming. First they were beige and small. Now they’re black and bigger. People keep telling us to vacuum and clean everywhere as much as we can, but I’m probably the cleanest person around within at least a 100 mile radius, so that can’t be it.

The problem with seeing spiders in my home is that I have trouble killing them. Part of it is because I can’t bring myself to get close enough to kill them most of the time, and part of it is because I’ve been told not to kill them. A few years ago Mo scolded me for killing a spider, telling me that we were not allowed to do that as Muslims. I already knew that the spider was given respect because of its place in Islamic history, but I wasn’t so sure about not being allowed to kill them. I had friends who had said the same in the past, but I remained skeptical. The hadith (a narrative about Prophet Muhammad (SAW) or something he did) says that Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and his closest companion, Abu Bakr, were traveling to Medina and at some point found out that the kaffar (nonbelievers) were after them. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Abu Bakr hid in a cave, and when the kaffar found the cave, they saw that a spider had built a web over the entrance and they decided that they could not be hiding there. What is certain is that the Qur’an does state that we should not hurt any animal, as they are all Allah’s creations, but we may if they pose harm to us. There is a divide on this topic, as there are on many others. I found out that Mo’s mother was the one who told him why he shouldn’t kill spiders when he was very young. As for me, I try my best to follow the rule of not killing them–as long as I can get them out. And therein lies my problem.

Mo went away for two days, so I had the place to myself. I had a huge report to work on, but I just couldn’t bring myself to concentrate on it. So after several hours of ignoring my work, I finally sat down on the sofa with my laptop. I immediately got distracted and started browsing through photos that MSN was featuring on its website–photos of insects and arachnids taken by a popular photographer. I was twitching as I saw them, and concluded that if I ever saw any of these types of spiders I would run screaming out of my home. I finally closed the browser, created a cover page, and was writing the first few sentences of the report when I saw something in the corner of my left eye. Yes, there on the floor was a spider. Ah, irony. It was wide and black. And it was 3/4″ long. I hadn’t seen this type yet in the apartment, and it bothered me that it came out while Mo was away. We have two sofas, and in order to grab my Raid and Lysol I had to climb over the other sofa. On my way back to the creepy-crawler, I grabbed our Spider Removal Kit. Yes, you read correctly.

Mo and I devised this kit over the span of several spider removals. Because Mo didn’t like my killing them, because I couldn’t go near them without trying to kill them, and because Mo wasn’t afraid of them, he was our exterminator. He started out by sliding a regular sheet of paper under them and then carefully walking them out into the hallway. But the paper was light and when the spider walked around to the other side, the paper would flip over. So we used a heavier stock of paper the next few times. But the spiders would walk around to the other side or fall off, causing me to scream and Mo to search for beige spiders on beige carpet. Then we hit the jackpot. I brought to him a small Tupperware container. This container, combined with our sheet of paper, was the ultimate spider catching tool.

But this wouldn’t work for the spider I saw on the floor the night Mo was away. I had the Raid in my left hand, the Tupperware in my right, and I tried to keep from thinking about whether or not it would jump toward me. After several throws, I finally managed to get the container over it. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to handle bringing a spider that big out of the apartment, so I knew I had to kill it. But before I did this, I fought with myself. During this internal struggle, I placed five of my research books on top of the small container so that the spider couldn’t get away. This was the result:

With a heavy heart, I finally managed to strategically lift the container at just the right height and angle to keep spraying it with Raid and Lysol. After a long time it curled up and died. It took another few minutes to get the courage to remove it with a paper towel. I still feel bad. And disappointed. But just writing this is making my neck hurt from the twitching. If you’re greeted by a spider or two this Halloween, gather up your strength and try to let them live. The kindness of people like you may cancel out my weakness.

Oh, baby.

As I write this, Mo and I are still arguing about today’s topic.

We were casually discussing a number of things a few days ago, when we came upon the subject of our newly pregnant friends.  Selim and Asma, both of whom are Muslims and graduate students, are married, but are not ready to take on the responsibility of a baby.  This surprise has them considering, to my extreme disappointment, an abortion.

Although I support abortion when it comes to rape, I am against it in almost all other cases.  I believe that adults understand the consequences of sex and that they should make any sacrifice necessary to deal with a pregnancy, whether expected or not.  Mo, however, sees things from a completely different perspective.  Circumstance plays heavily on his views, as well as the parents’ ability to give their child the best life possible.

While I already knew that abortion was haram, or prohibited, in Islam, I needed to find out more about the details.  What I found online was limited and confusing, which means I will have to do a lot more research.  Here is what I have discovered so far:

1. Islam prohibits abortion at ANY stage of a pregnancy
2. Islam permits abortion if the mother’s life is at risk because the mother is a pillar of the family, can give birth again, and already has responsibilities to fulfill, whereas the baby still does not have any duties or responsibilities
3. Islam permits abortion within the first 40 days of conception
4. Islam prohibits abortion even when rape is involved, unless the mother cannot mentally cope with the situation and believes this will effect the baby negatively.  Mothers who do give birth to these babies and raise them receive additional blessings/rewards from Allah for their struggles and compassion.
5. Abortions at various stages of pregnancy are considered to be different grades of sin, each with varying consequences

Apart from arguing about when abortion is a valid option, Mo and I argue about how we define a baby.  I believe that from the moment of conception there is a being that is beginning to form, something that will have a soul at some point.  Mo believes that until that being performs the seven functions of a living thing according to science, it is not a living thing and can be aborted.

While I understand that different situations are treated differently by all types of people, I just cannot help but be saddened by the varying definitions people have of when a baby becomes a baby and when it is appropriate to abort a baby.  This is a difficult topic to discuss, but it is also a topic that I think will never be viewed the same by everyone.  As for Selim and Asma, I only hope that what they do is best for themselves and their unborn child, and that they can live with the outcomes of that decision.

Cirque du Sol…hey!

Unfortunately, I’ve spent most of my life without my grandparents near me, and the closest relationship I ever had with someone over the age of 60 was with a former co-worker who was a chain smoking, heavy metal listening, thrice-divorced, godless woman with the heart of a 20 year old.

This past Sunday I took Mo to go see Cirque du Soleil’s Alegria as an early birthday gift.  Soon after the show began everyone to my right was standing up to let someone through.  There was an usher in the row in front of us trying to tell an old woman in the aisle where her seat was, which happened to be two seats to my left.  The usher tried three times to get her attention, then finally yelled: “Ma’am!  Ma’am!  Your seat is in THIS row! Seat 13!”

I was already irritated at this woman who just stole our ability to watch a show we have been yearning to see for years and for which I paid a lot of money, but then she grabbed my left arm and almost pulled me down!  She didn’t ask me for help, nor did she say excuse me.  She just grabbed.  As she walked past Mo she said thank you, but I’m still not sure that excuses her from grabbing my arm like that.  I am always willing to help anyone, but I just don’t like how this woman did what she did.

The subject of the elderly always makes me feel like poop because I know I should be more willing to help them, but I lived in South Florida for ten years and all the old people act like they can get away with anything: reckless driving, inconsiderate remarks, inconsiderate actions, being miserly, etc.  I think the arm-grabbing incident is just another item for the list.  During these times, I have to remind myself about how I was raised and what I believe in.  Islam very clearly teaches young people to respect and care for their elderly, and in turn, God will appoint someone to take care of those young people in their old age.  This opportunity to care for someone in their old age is believed to be an honor and a time of spiritual growth, and taking care of our parents is considered a duty that is only second to prayer.  The strength of Muslim compassion for the elderly is represented in our lack of “Old Age Homes.”  For most Muslims, the idea of placing our elders in a home to fend for themselves is unacceptable and mostly unheard of.  My own parents are in their 50s, and I can’t imagine being unwilling to help them if they needed me.  (Next time you find out one of your 30-something year old male Muslim buddies lives with his parents, you can hold back some of the chortling.)

I didn’t jerk my arm away from the old woman, and even though I was slightly irritated by the number of inconveniences she caused me, I couldn’t help but wonder why the woman and child WITH her didn’t help her walk through the aisle.

Sloppy Joe’s Leftovers

The weather is getting much cooler, so after a long walk from my home to campus, I found myself in urgent need of the restroom.  Luckily, there is a restroom just across from our graduate workspace.  I rushed in, but was utterly horrified at the site staring up at me: urine.

It wasn’t just a drop here or there, but pools of it all around the toilet seat.

I looked down at my feet, hoping I hadn’t stepped in anything either–I was only inches away from a puddle that could have been water or urine, but the tile is discolored and makes it hard to tell.

I proceeded to clean it up with wads of toilet paper standing as far away from the toilet as possible, all the while thinking of who the culprit could be.  I had to assume it was a man because, honestly, if I thought it was a woman I might have cried.

But this brings me to an interesting topic about bathroom etiquette in Islam.  You will rarely find the home of a Muslim with any hint of urine.  I’ll concentrate on why by focusing only on the men for now.  Muslim men are strongly advised to use the restroom while sitting.  The reason being that standing during urination can cause spatter, thus allowing impurities to touch the body and clothes, which will later invalidate any prayers made.  Standing during urination is allowed only if the person can guarantee that no impurities will touch the body or clothes.  The action of sitting, however, can reduce the likelihood of this happening.  Islam also requires its followers to clean themselves with water (you may have noticed a cup or some type of water receptacle in the bathrooms of your Muslim friends, and this is why).  This is equivalent to the  idea of a “bidet.”

I’ve been used to finding restrooms with urine on or around toilets, but never have I witnessed anything quite like this.  Whoever is responsible apparently does not care about the next person who will use the restroom, was completely ignorant of what had just happened, and probably had a large number of impurities on his clothes.  I’m not even sure he washed his hands.  *Shudder*

Feel free to share your unpleasant experiences with Sloppy Joes.